You can’t change others, but you can change YOURSELF

You can change your perspective on the weight their words may hold. You can work on the only person you have control over ……YOU. I’m coming to a point in my life where I have to stop pointing fingers at others and point it back at myself. If I’m upset because of what someone did to me, it’s my responsibility to look at the situation and ask how “I” could have done better. Do I need to reevaluate the position that person has in my life? Do I need to check my attentions and motivates? Do I need to create better boundaries or promote more self-love?  I’m not suggestion you start blaming yourself but reflecting on your choices that could have help led you to this point.  The most important thing a boss once taught me was the power of reflecting on your own actions and constructing a plan to see the change you wish to have using the abilities or opportunities God places in front of you.

Reflection is hard.

WHY? It’s hard because you have to WORK and want a change. You have to get over your fear of rejection, failure, shame, pride , or the lack of poor boundaries you have created in your environment. You have to be accountable and let’s face it accountability can suck. It’s easier to complain or grumble about a situation then to pull up your boot straps and say, “forget it…I will get my own @$%& together no matter what”.

  Like Gandi once said, “Be the change you want to see in the world”

……Growth creates pain…Makes other uncomfortable…..Stirs fear in one’s heart….

BUT DO IT Anyway.

When I gave God the ability to start rebuilding my foundation, it made me more like my Savior because I’m willing to be accountable to him before others. I’m willing to have those hard conversations with myself in love. I’m willing to seek solutions and forgiveness without being self-seeking or without malice towards myself. I’m willing to say Lord, this hurts and I don’t understand but show me the issues I need to work on.

Someone once told me SELF Reflection is the best Reflection to find the need for a Savior and fall at his feet. For ALL have sinned and I’m included in that ALL. But through the Grace of a Savior, I can arise for the ashes of my decision and the pains of being broken in order to reflect on how this is just an opportunity to become accountable for myself ,to myself, on behalf of myself. The moment I became accountable for my own happiness and understood I was allowed to create boundaries for my joy to flourish, is the moment I got back my smile.


I am J.Marie Speaks

Humbly and Unapologetic a Sinner saved by grace who is walking boldly in her calling with no reservations.

He accepts me so no one else truly matters.

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